Arch390/790 Visible Certainty
University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee
Chris Cornelius, Associate Professor
I think this is a good start. Setting up some sort of camparison would be helpful. The part where it says "this is nothing like my elementary school" could be a good jumping off point. I'd like to see the plans and sections which I am sure are forth coming, but I would encourage you to find a way to have them fit in the narrative structure. Are the characters actually walking on the plan? Does the narrative converge or characters come together coincidentally with spatial convergence?
These perspectives are wonderful! they really speak to the spaces that you have created. Maybe the only thing you might do is have a small thumbnail image of the plan next to each sketch to further that connection of the experience. Also make sure to take a look at the narrative armature lecture and readings if you haven't already, that sense of "closure" between sketches becomes extremely vital. I found that reading to be very helpful understanding narratives.
As others have said, your storyboards are very nice. My comment is that if there was any research done in studio, maybe that could be graphically incorporated... such as a diagram of how you arrived at the list of "objective words," and what those words mean to you. Then, they may more clearly show up in the graphic novel's story line afterward.
These drawings be cray. My only major suggestion would be to address the hierarchy within the composition. Right now, it feels like 6 primary ideas with very minimal secondary and tertiary detailing. This makes the amazing compositions you've created have less of a wow factor because I'm transitioning from primary image to primary image. The details become lost and less special? If there is a way you can begin integrating small thumbnails which highlight anthropomorphic actions within the space itself, it might aid in flowing from one grand image to another. These could be images of looking down at your feet and acknowledging a ground change, a contrasting thumbnail showing the incredibly manicured state of foliage around the buildings and the contrasting 'untamed' boundary surrounding the space.Is this intended to stay B&W? if not, consider developing a way-finding mechanism through intentionally placed highlights of color. I agree with Zach that you should create some sense of way-finding for the viewer - I found myself jumping back and forth between images to reorient myself - a small plan thumbnail or color continuation might resolve this.
I wish I could draw like this! I can understand the spaces you created very well. The sketch style of these drawings incorporate the right amount of detail to make my mind paint the rest of the picture. sketch some plan diagrams or something to quickly show me your overall theme. I think that this presentation format hurt your project. I would love to see these plotted and pinned up on the wall and someone walk me though.
This is great work. I love the freedom you take with each frame breaking it in selective instances to extend your eye to the next frame or line of text. I think the narrative would be interesting if in place of dialogue you show action verbs in text form or selectively insert dialogue. Great work, I want to read some Frank Miller novellas now.
I thought your sketches came out of a comic book, they are great. I think having these incorporated next to your final work would be great to see how far along your idea came.
This is great. Graphic Narrative is very clear. Like others have said i would try and incorporate plans and sections, I like seeing them in their sketchy form though, it gives the process a playfulness. I would like to see color. I don't know how others feel about that, but after seeing your water coloring skills I couldn't help but picture these frames watercolored. Great start.
Obviously the sketches are beautiful good work. Introduce some color, maybe one object that is consistently depicted throughout the narrative as a means of wayfinding. While the architecture would be easy to pick out in each image, it was difficult to understand where I was in relation. Perhaps placing a corner flip book type site map that highlighted viewing location. Might be cool.
great sketches. Is it possible to vary the frame size to emphasize the narrative? As Ainsley suggested, layering the information would provide a richer understanding of the narrative.
I wonder what the overlay of information on top of itself would look like. It seems that information is segregated. I look forward to the colored version. I enjoy the mixing of different fonts, I feel it helps keep the reader involved.
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